Judgement is something becoming more socially unacceptable as we develop and move closer toward being a society that encourages freedom and individuality. There are 2 sides to the coin of judgement, and although you don’t want to flip it to see how it lands, both sides need to be understood and respected for what they really are.
I am an advocate for a judgement free environment. A space that allows each of us to be who we are, and to be comfortable in our own skin. A very important part of not looking outside of ourselves to decide who we are, and instead looking in to embrace ourselves and make a great story that we call life.
Judgement can take on a very ugly face when it is allowed to carry us down the rabbit hole of internalizing something that should remain outside. So we avoid it. Some of us anyway. Or do we?
You see, the human mind is developed in a way that allows us to make decisions. Our mind is also developed so as to allow us to identify danger, which is a very good thing to have. We utilize all of our senses to assist in identifying threat, particularly sight. With our eyes, we see what is in front of us and our mind immediately goes into decision making mode. Is what we see a good thing? Or is it a bad thing? To each of us, our opinion (judgement, by the way) is formed and individual to our own filing cabinet of information that allows us to make the opinion that is suitable for us.
Everything we think and do is a result of judgement. If we didn’t have this “skill” we would more likely be a society zombie like people simply walking the earth and existing until we die. It is not possible to make a decision without allowing space for judgement, and as you may decide that something or someone is not a good thing for you, it could be judged in a completely different way by another.
There is nothing wrong with judgement. It is the actions that follow the judgement that become the problem. You may not like something about another person or a situation, and that’s OK. It crosses the line into the arena of “inappropriate” when we put action to our thought, especially onto another.
Opinions are personal, and for the most part should really be kept to the individual who had it in the first place. Whatever your thought is on what it is that you see before you, just accept it as what it is right now. Don’t allow it to become internalized and enforce the need to express it. And, please, don’t beat yourself up for it, should you get that icky feeling associated with the “It’s wrong to be judgmental” syndrome. Because that’s judgement too. Judgement on you.
Remember this, when we internalize anything outside of us and take it personal, we are casting judgement.
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Until next time...